The Many Failed Dates of Austria and Switzerland
by TimlessNight
Summary: Austria and Switzerland are forced to go on a series of dates together and. . . Well, you'll see. Half fluff, half . . . non-fluff.
1. Chapter 1

Switzerland sighed as he crossed the parking lot. He didn't fully understand why his boss was making him go on a _date_ with Austria. The guy was all fancy one moment and then freeloading the next. They always got into fights in less than a minute. It was pointless trying to force them to get along.

But, unfortunately, Switzerland had no say in the matter. Switzerland's boss was his boss, no matter how much he tried to work his way out of it.

He sighed again as he stepped through the front doors of the restaurant, only to find Austria already there. Switzerland had to work back vomit at the sight of the obnoxious, snobby-

"Vash. You're late," Austria said stiffly.

"Of course, I am. I'm being forced to sit and deal with you for an hour." _If we actually last that long_, Switzerland thought._  
_

"You should appreciate it. It's a free meal. Isn't that what you like?"

"I'm not cheap, if that's what you're implying!" Switzerland struggled to keep his voice from rising.

"I suggested no such thing," Austria said.

"You did!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"See? You finally agree with me." Austria had a smug face like he thought he'd won.

Switzerland just frowned and stormed out with only a quick, "You tricked me."

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay, I should NOT be starting this, is that clear? Ugh, but I had to.**

**Anyways, this is dedicated to LittleLobsterLocks, 'cause she loves this pairing and she's awesome~!**

**The chapters will get longer as the dates get longer! I find it strange that the word long is shorter than the word short.**

**-TN**


	2. Date 2

Austria sighed as he crossed the parking lot. He was going on a _second_ date with Switzerland. As if the first one wasn't enough. They were at each other's throats! He swore, sometimes bosses could be such idiots.

It wouldn't work. There was a mutual hate between the two that wouldn't go away. Even though before. . .

No. If Switzerland wanted to ignore the days when Austria would get his butt kicked and have to be dragged home, that was fine by Austria. When he actually tried to rally his men to fight, they were all lazy. Why couldn't he have a stronger army?

He had conquered North Italy that long time ago. . . But that wasn't exactly a great feat, either. He sighed again as he stepped into the restaurant. Switzerland beat him there this time.

"Let's do this the civil way this time. Agreed?" Austria asked, already irritated. All Switzerland ever did was yell and complain.

"Who said I wasn't civil?!" Switzerland snapped, seemingly also irritated.

"No one."

"Um, sirs?" a nervous looking waitress asked. "Your table is ready."

"Thank you," said Austria, and followed her calmly to a table for two in the middle of the restaurant.

Switzerland muttered something sounding like a thank you, but Austria couldn't be sure.

They sat down as the lady rushed off, being distracted by another customer. "Well, that was rude! I'm not just paying for a meal, I'm paying for service, too! And how am I supposed to order when she's not even here to listen?" Switzerland-Vash, Austria was supposed to call him in public-asked sharply, and a bit loudly as well.

"Vash. You don't have to be so loud about it."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Vash was shouting now. It was getting a little uncomfortable to sit next to him. So Austria stood and walked out.

* * *

**Author's Note: I'd be glad to hear you ideas for their next date, so leave a review! Wait. . . Their next date is. . . Heh heh.**

**-TN**


	3. Date 3

Austria just wanted to sit and express his frustration on the piano. Why couldn't his boss understand that Austria and Switzerland would _never_ get along? It was rather simple. All they had to do to make up for this wrong that they have done to Austria is to stop sending him on dates!

It was a losing battle for Austria to keep calm and carry on through his day. And then through the date. This time, the destructive pair were being sent to an ice cream parlor.

They stood together in the doorway, glaring at anything but each other. _If that pervert France was here, he'd call it sexual tension. . ._ Austria thought. No, France would be wrong. It most certainly was _not_ sexual tension.

People who passed by walked as far away as they could get. Eventually, the shop owner came out to see what was driving all the customers away. "Um. . . sirs? Please, um, stop blocking the doorway. It's scaring the customers away," he said, fidgeting slightly.

"Right. Hurry up, Vash," Austria demanded.

"I was waiting on you!" Switzerland yelled.

"Just quit making such a fuss so we can get our ice cream and have this over with," said Austria hotly, and he stalked into the shop.

"Fine!" Switzerland muttered behind him.

"I'll take the raspberry-chocolate on a waffle cone, please," Austria ordered. "What do you want, Vash?"

"Vanilla on a regular cone for me," Switzerland said.

"You're really so plain and bland. Choose something different, for once."

"Fine!" Vash turned to the man at the register. "I changed my order! I'll get whatever it is he's having!"

The man scooped both of their ice creams and handed them each their order. "Seventeen dollars, thirteen cents."

Switzerland was fuming when Austria paid for the ice cream. "Stop making such a fuss. This is _quality_ ice cream. So suck it up," Austria said.

But Switzerland just ignored him and slammed the cone down on Austria's head. "If I were you, I'd have that cancerous thing called your brain removed before it explodes on you!" They both froze. Switzerland had crossed the unspoken line.

"Well, that was rude." Then Austria smashed his ice cream into Switzerland's shirt and calmly walked out. The third date had most definitely failed its purpose.

* * *

**Author's Note: Did you guys notice the reference I made? Huggles for those who did! Okay, never mind. . . Hey, ice cream fight! Isn't it fun?**

**Anyone read Gentlemen's Alliance? I'M FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I JUST FINISHED THE THIRD BOOK! Those of you who don't remember, we just found out that Shizumasa-sama is a FAKE! Haine doesn't know that, though. Okay, peoples, go read it for yourself now!**

**-TN**


	4. Date 4

Austria was getting tired of the dates! He was almost ready to resort to violence. His anger was worse than when he was with _Prussia_! There was something seriously wrong with this.

He stormed into the new place. A pub. Austria tried to work that word through his brain. Pub. Pub, pub, pub. No. No, no, no. Yes, that word suited the place much better.

The room was crowded and there was a somewhat tangible sweat in the air. It was disgusting. People rubbed up against each other; there wasn't enough space for everyone. Switzerland sat off in a corner, frowning. Wasn't this what _he'd_ picked? When Austria reached him, he repeated the question again, out loud this time.

"I didn't choose it! My boss did! So don't come complaining to me about your problems, I've got enough of my own!" he said, sounding defensive.

"Well, excuse me for asking a question!"

"You were being nosy!"

"You were being an ASS!" Austria yelled, making the room quiet and heads turn to him. He self-conciously cleared his throat and walked out to get some fress air. How was he supposed to go back in there and face Switzerland now? Wait, face Switzerland? What was he thinking? Maybe it would help if he took a walk.

Austria strolled. He lost track of time early into the walk. But he just kept going.

Eventually he found a park, dark except for the small bubble of light surrounding the street lamps. Shadows clung like ducktape to everything.

Sirens wailed in the background. Austria slumped on a bench. Why did people have to be so bothersome at this time of night? Some people were probably trying to sleep. Why not wait until morning?

To his surprise, the police car didn't pass him. The car pulled up right in front of him. "'Scuse me, sir. Have you seen a man-"

He was cut off by a voice from the back yelling, "Roderich!" Switzerland burst out of the back and hugged Austria. It was uncomfortable. Switzerland seemed to sense Austria's awkwardness and quickly let go. Blushing.

"Vash. . . ?" Austria had to pause to surpress a smirk. "Are you . . . blushing?"

"No! I just . . . feel sick. And it's all because I've been up looking for _you_ all night!" Vash said defensively.

"Well. I'm sorry you had to exert yourself."

"Gah, I'm leaving. I should've left you missing." With that, he turned away, marking the official end of their fourth date.

* * *

**Author's Note: If you have any date ideas, please tell me! I'm running out!**

**I'm having PROBLEMS! I got my first grease burn (ow) and then got stung by a wasp (ow).**

**I've been a Beta for a while, I just forgot to mention it. . . Heh heh, yay! I know you're all SUPER excited to have me as your Beta, but I'll be away next week. I'll try to get SOMETHING up before then, but I dunno what I'll get to. WUB YOUS!**

**-TN**


	5. Date 5

Switzerland wrinkled his nose at the smell of expensive coffee and overpriced muffins and bagels and the like. Austria approached where Switzerland stood holding a coffee in each hand and that smile from playing the piano. The same smile, coincidentally, that made rare and pure contentness to bubble up in Switzerland's chest. Gah, Austria knew Switzerland hated this stuff; he was probably just trying to be annoying. That self-centered-

"Prick! Guten tag!"

Austria froze. And suddenly the smile was gone, and in its place, a scowl. He spun to face Prussia, only to see him arm in arm with Hungary. "What are you doing here?" he growled.

"I just came here to get some coffee with my girlfriend before we go out on our date to the amuesment park. Come with us!" Prussia demanded.

"No."

"C'mon," Prussia demanded. Why was he always demanding? "And bring Switzy!"

Austria looked at Prussia, then Hungary, and then back to Prussia. "No, thank you," he said.

"Oh, Austria, come with us!" Hungary squealed. "Switzerland, you, too!" She was probably planning another yaoi story.

Again, Austria stared at Hungary for a moment. And then: "I guess I have nothing better to do. Switzerland, are you coming?"

All at once, Switzerland understood, Austria hadn't brought him there to be annoying. He'd done it because of Hungary. For some reason, that made a burn on Switzerland's heart. Suddenly he didn't feel like going to an amusement park anymore. He didn't feel like being amused.

Switzerland told the others he wasn't feeling well, and left for home.

* * *

**Author's Note: THIS CHAPTER GOT DELETED TWICE. I HATE MY FLIPPING COMPUTER. AND MY WIFI. AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE NEVER LEFT THE U.S. AND A LOT OF OTHER THINGS.**

**I decided to start blogging my author's note stuff from here on out. Here's the link: search/label/MFD**


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